On being flexible

April 27, 2010 at 2:32 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

My husband’s (W’s)  military career necessitates moving fairly frequently.  This is great for the traveler in me; I love seeing and experiencing different places, and in the few years we’ve been together I’ve had many opportunities travel-wise that I might not have experienced without the Army.

But…I’m not so great with change.  It takes me awhile to make friends and get comfortable with new people.  This is in direct conflict with my need to be around people.  I love meeting new people, coffee dates, hosting dinner parties and game nights.  The last time we moved, it took 6 or 7 months for me to feel mostly settled.  I was somewhat depressed the first two or three months we were there; some days I never got out of my pajamas.  As you might imagine, this was not great for our marriage.  Of course, eventually I bounced back and found a job (two, actually) that I really enjoyed and friends that I miss dearly.  In the end, it was hard for me to leave.

I was hoping that this move would be a bit easier, now that I have a couple under my belt.   I hoped to meet wives in my husband’s unit and form friendships with women I could relate to.  But without a job, and with my husband being in a tiny unit with few married men, I’ve felt rather isolated.  We’re still searching for a church to call home.

I’m trying to stay flexible and to stay positive–I know this move hasn’t been easy on W , either.  I’m working on plans to go back to school and hopefully I’ll have a job by fall.  I know those things will help a lot with making this place feel like home, but August/September is still a few months off.  Until then, does anyone have any advice for making a new place feel more like home?  Have you ever made a difficult move?

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